Lists

It all started in our childhoods with a seemingly innocent wishlist for Christmas. Growing up we overcame the legend of Santa more or less successfully and switched to the simple, easy to fulfill, grocery list. Both lists proved themselves as so useful that we created the famous to-do list which was soon to be followed by the sex-list and turned into the my-perfect-man list. Somehow it seemed we ended up right back where we started, addressing our lists to the very same person: Mr.Santa himself. Not a very reliable man, considering the fact that he works one day a year...

The "my-perfect-man list" can be anywhere between 3 words or 3000 words long and its single purpose is to describe HIM in order to let ourselves know what we are looking for, what it is we think we need and, last but not least, what we want in a man.

One of my girlfriends described this list as a female computer program that we install in our heads in order to successfully download a very special file. The better the program, the less chances of getting a virus. In order to settle, we need to swap from Windows to Mac.

This very same girlfriend used to have so far the most extended version of mpm (my perfect man) list I´ve ever seen in my life: very detail orientated, with rows and columns, categories like sports, religion, views on family, relation with close family etc...going all the way to sexual behavior, job, eye colour and even body hair quota and location.

Not a single category was left out. Everything was perfectly planned.

My friend indeed found her perfect man who was everything she thought she was looking for - her list only approved her decision: check, check, check. Barbie and Ken had finally found each other and it was pink all over.

Ken never left his soon to be ex-wife, whereas Barbie had not only her luggage packed but also her flight booked. Barbie was ready to go. Ken too - but unfortunately away from her.

I am still wondering what caused their break up. Did she left out a column on her list? I wish I could ask her about her own thoughts but Barbie left and the pink vanished while I am still here with the list I started a year ago and that I never ended....

There are things we know we need and others we know we don´t want. Very easy compared to the mpm list. For example: I know I need fresh cut flowers every now and then and I don´t want a liar. Everything else is in a grey zone and subject to change. Maybe we should leave it like that because maybe this grey zone is the only reason why there are still realtionships out there. Because maybe this grey zone is what compromising means: settling for something we don´t really care about.