Je ne suis pas Charlie. Je suis Saman.

I am deeply saddened by the attacks on Charlie Hebdo in Paris and I too, like all of you, condemn any terrorist attack and any form of violence towards another human being. 

The attacks in Paris are profoundly shocking and it took me a few days to process the news. My thoughts are with the families of the victims and the people of France ever since. Acts of violence are not a solution and they will never be. 

To my friends I'd like to say that hate speech is not a solution either. It is a form of violence on its own. We all, religious and non-religious people are upset, angry and hurt yet remember that we are better than the product of our anger. We are smarter. We have the luxury to access information and enjoy education and we have the means to make our voices heard and speak up. 

I condemn any extremism comments, be it on Facebook or spoken out loud, as extremism leads to extremism and I will not support any form of hate or generalization especially not when we're talking about nearly 2 billion people globally. 

Remember that there is no or very little real depth analysis in the media and that the issue is broken down into a recipe based on three ingredients: a satire, a religion and a gun. Remember that there is more to it. 

Therefore it is important to ask the right questions and I'd like to ask all of you to take the time, even when upset, to question everything you read in the media. Do your research until you find answers for yourself that you can represent and argue for. If you take a step back you might even see that history is simply repeating itself. 

We should remember that these terrorist acts are an aberration of people's faith.
We should remember more than ever to respect and protect our friends and people who are faithful and innocent as they have been and will be the target of hatespeech, insult, violence and discrimination. 
Remember to call for reason.

We should stand united against terrorist attacks and any form of extremism. We should stand united against polarization and hate. We should stand for mutual respect and love for those who are innocent. 

Je ne suis pas Charlie. Je suis Saman.

Love actually

While I am certainly not fond of routines once they start taking over spontaneity, I do enjoy the, what I call, 'children' of certain routines like Christmas because after all, I was not born or raised religious. Our family didn't sing any songs, nor did we pray or attend Christmas mass. And we certainly never reflected on Jesus. To make a long story short, to us, Christmas could have taken place on a random day like May 16th if at all.

Christmas was rather a yearly tradition that we adopted, celebrated solely as a peaceful gathering of family and close friends, because as it seems the majority of the people, especially families, need a date and a reason in order to overcome past peculiar quarrels and focus on the one thing that matters most: Love.

A religious holiday, even in a non religious family, is the best subconscious force of it all - my parents knew that and took blunt advantage of it: family and friends would dress up, hug each other intensely, kiss and laugh. Those who walked into our apartment would forgive and forget - all in the name of the holiday. Cicero was right: ' An unjust peace is better than a just war.'

On nights like that, we would enjoy a never ending homemade dinner whose smell would blend perfectly with the smell of the tree, the smell of sweet burning wood from the fireplace, the smell of the masses of fresh white snow that the winter breeze would try to squeeze in, and the smell of the people I love. Needless to say that until this day, this very smell is the exquisite perfume of a long lost joyous time.

Dinner was usually followed by the mandatory gift exchange where my poor parents seemed disadvantaged to me. My sister and I would get various gifts in different shapes and sizes, wrapped beautifully in colorful gift paper, with bows and ribbons from all the people who attended dinner, while my parents would nod and smile, be polite by the book and thankful for their health.

It was perfectly fine for me to gratify my dad every year with a new tie that I could afford with pocket-money that I received from him. At the end of his life he was the proud proprietor of an entire tie collection and I wondered if I should have asked him for a pocket-money raise back then in order to buy him a nice watch. I came to the sober conclusion that it would have made no sense at all . Looking back, I see how the entire 'pocket-money-gift' from kid to parent was nothing but an act of Love and the living proof that it is the thought that counts.

It was one of the best days of the year, considering the fact that it was not my birthday but actually the one of someone else I never knew. Plus if you think about it: when else is it nowadays socially acceptable to put an entire chopped down tree into your apartment?

Moving to New York City with no family and close friends by my side had many downsides apart from the one that I had no one that I could have forced to cheer up, celebrate and love for the sake of Christmas - let alone the gift exchange.

Years later I might be physically not surrounded by my family, but thanks to modern technology, we force gather online and have a blast. I am delighted to spend my Christmases with wonderful, loving friends. We might not cook the 5 course dinner, but then again, we live in New York where time and space are limited, where gluten-free meatballs and fondue accompanied by many nice glasses of wine and 'all i want for christmas' on Pandora, followed by ice cream and 'Love actually' are synonym for a 5 course family dinner in Europe.

And when I arrived at my friend's apartment in lovely Stuyvesant Town, straight from the hospital with no makeup on and in my PJs from the morning, the most festive attire about me were my new winter boots and a bottle of wine. When I was welcomed at the entrance door with warm hugs and kisses by Jillian and Lidia, it was Love actually. Clearly it really is the thought that counts.