Love Weather

It might happen rarely, but it still does: we fall for someone and we fall deeply and truly. If we are lucky, the person feels the same way and falls for us too.

In a wonderful private place like that, where two people can create and share their very same deep feelings for each other, not only can it happen but it sooner or later will, that this little yet powerful place gets disturbed by misunderstandings or simply by a harsh world by which it is surrounded. In moments like this we can either run or stay. If we choose to run, where are we running to? Seeing it from a long term point of view, we probably will run into the arms of the next person with whom we will create another little peaceful place - a forest of love. We start all over again, hoping that the sky will always be clear and the weather always sunny. But even in the sunniest spots on earth: if there are no clouds over our heads, earthquakes will shake our feet...

And if we choose to stay? How long are we willing or should we stay until the storms are over? The regular weather channel is often wrong with its prognosis - and a love weather channel doesn´t exist for one good reason: it is as unpredictable as the weather itself. A wise person once asked: when is it enough? And he himself answered: never.

If we choose to stay we need to look at each other again. And the truth is that we look different everyday. And if we run, we simply look away.

If we stay, we try to stay in a little world that is changing constantly just like the bigger one by which it is surrounded. With every new morning we get a new chance to choose to look closer at each other and fall for each other again or walk away until the other person becomes blurry and disappears.

The truth is that if we don´t look at each other closely, we do not see each other at all. And how can we run from each other if we don´t know what we are running away from?

Lists

It all started in our childhoods with a seemingly innocent wishlist for Christmas. Growing up we overcame the legend of Santa more or less successfully and switched to the simple, easy to fulfill, grocery list. Both lists proved themselves as so useful that we created the famous to-do list which was soon to be followed by the sex-list and turned into the my-perfect-man list. Somehow it seemed we ended up right back where we started, addressing our lists to the very same person: Mr.Santa himself. Not a very reliable man, considering the fact that he works one day a year...

The "my-perfect-man list" can be anywhere between 3 words or 3000 words long and its single purpose is to describe HIM in order to let ourselves know what we are looking for, what it is we think we need and, last but not least, what we want in a man.

One of my girlfriends described this list as a female computer program that we install in our heads in order to successfully download a very special file. The better the program, the less chances of getting a virus. In order to settle, we need to swap from Windows to Mac.

This very same girlfriend used to have so far the most extended version of mpm (my perfect man) list I´ve ever seen in my life: very detail orientated, with rows and columns, categories like sports, religion, views on family, relation with close family etc...going all the way to sexual behavior, job, eye colour and even body hair quota and location.

Not a single category was left out. Everything was perfectly planned.

My friend indeed found her perfect man who was everything she thought she was looking for - her list only approved her decision: check, check, check. Barbie and Ken had finally found each other and it was pink all over.

Ken never left his soon to be ex-wife, whereas Barbie had not only her luggage packed but also her flight booked. Barbie was ready to go. Ken too - but unfortunately away from her.

I am still wondering what caused their break up. Did she left out a column on her list? I wish I could ask her about her own thoughts but Barbie left and the pink vanished while I am still here with the list I started a year ago and that I never ended....

There are things we know we need and others we know we don´t want. Very easy compared to the mpm list. For example: I know I need fresh cut flowers every now and then and I don´t want a liar. Everything else is in a grey zone and subject to change. Maybe we should leave it like that because maybe this grey zone is the only reason why there are still realtionships out there. Because maybe this grey zone is what compromising means: settling for something we don´t really care about.

Dear Little Sister

My Dear Little Sister,

You always held my hand;

In times of tearful joy and funny pain, in times of secret pride and endless shame,

In times of loud laughter and louder cries

And even in fear, you stood - and still stand

Dear Little Sister, Dear

Your once little hand, grew big into mine

Mine into yours - a bond truly divine

And loneliness? We never knew

We didnt, we don´t and we will never do

You found me in my darkest room and guided me when I lost sight

Like my own shadow: always and always holding me tight

We walked, we ran, we lifted and jumped - painting our skies cloudlessly blue

You heard me through a gaze, a breathe and in silence

Loud and clear - no one else could ever do

Dear Little Sister, Dear

Taking me for who I am is a love one cannot describe or understand,

A warm love, so honest, sweet and kind

One that I am aware of I was blessed to find

And I can only hope that you, with certainty, know,

And if you should doubt , these words shall show,

That I am endlessly thankful to hold the hand of unconditional love

One who helped me to be who I am

A wonderful woman, sister and friend

One who is and will always be the best in all of them.

Dedicated to my wonderful sister Samira in Love

Wishes

When we were kids we used to have long wishlists. Some of our wishes became true, some not. But we never stopped wishing and took every chance to make one. Sometimes it was an event like christmas or our birthdays that made us sit, reflect on what we wanted and write it down. And sometimes a passing shooting star was all we needed to make a spontaneous one.

We used to wish for everything, from a chocolate cupcake with colorful sprinkles in a bakery to our parents never dying. The older we got, the shorter the wishlist became. For some of us the wishlist disappeared completely.

I still remember as a kid the words of my mother who, for each of her birthdays every year, had only this very same wish: health and me and my sisters happiness. As a kid the one thing I simply could not understand and that made me shake my little head, was why her wishlist was so short if it could be much longer...

Yesterday I was wondering where my wishlist was. I still have one. The only thing that changed are the wishes but the amount I guess is still the same. The cupcake is still a cupcake, but today I wish for a homemade one by the person I love. Taste doesn´t matter anymore, but the thought does. My parents never dying is still a wish and will always be one. Years ago the recipient of my wishlist was either God himself, although I have to admit that his address was never listed anywhere, or my parents, who were much easier to track down.

Today, I address my wishes to myself. And finding yourself can sometimes be as hard as finding God. But even if you have the feeling that there is no one you can address your wishes to, there is still you. The good thing is : I don´t have to wait for christmas anymore or for a shooting star - although I still look up and hope to see the latter every once in a while. And while a shooting star might cross your way every couple of years, you can create christmas everyday.

I do, I don´t or I don´t know

A young, handsome, italian man who is a regular at a lovely pink restaurant on the upper east side came for his usual espresso one morning. Until this day we had only exchanged the regular "hi & bye". This day I asked him how he was and he replied that he´s sad. I didn´t have much time to wonder about how we jumped from being professionally polite to being friendly intimate. But hearing him saying that, made me not only feel for him but also ask him immediately and without hesitation the ultimate question: why?

Today his girlfriend, that he loves, had broken up with him after two years of relationship. He had asked her to marry him. I didn´t quite know what came first: the break up part or the marriage but figured the question was as old and relevant as "the chicken or the egg" dilemma.

He showed me his hand where a missing ring was, at least to me, her answer. He was asking me for advice and me, being aware of the delicacy of such a situation, decided to ask him a question instead of giving him my answer.

She had not say yes, neither no. But to a question as clear as this one, isn´t everything but a clear and loud non hesitating yes, a clear and loud no?

A marriage , the institution that in the best case lasts a lifetime, raises fear in many people. What we all have in common is that we unconsciously know that it is easy to step in, hard to step out and that the hardest thing above all is to maintain it.

A clear yes is the fundament on which a marriage is built and the best chance to a possible "happily ever after". A hesitation is no fundament - even Sleeping Beauty, who had just woken up after a 100 years of sleep, was not sleepy at all when it came to answering this question.

Are we so desperately wanting to get married that we are willing to spend the rest of our lives with a person who simply doesn´t know? And can we ask from one to be faithful forever if this very same person shows us she cannot remain true to herself?

The Bill

100 Years

Thanks to numerous, never ending, obsessive fanatic "Stay healthy and live longer" campaigns, smokers are witch hunted, not being active in sports is considered as self destructive, sugar is the new cocaine, organic food the key to a happier life, fat the devil himself and death seems far away...at least this is what we would like to think and manifest in our little minds.

Many people are trying very hard to fight time - congratulations! The overall age expectancy of a New Yorker born in 2000 is 77,6 years compared to 1990 where people reached the age of 72,4 years. But tell me, what do we do with 5,2 years more?

Heart diseases are number 1 cause of death, followed by cancer. But the WHO report of 2001 shows that in the future, in 2020 to be exact, depression will be number 1 killer after heart disease and not cancer. And suddenly 5,2 years more are not a blessing anymore. 5,2 years more seem more like an extended torture. As suddenly we have an increase of quantity in time but very poor life quality, if one can call this quality at all: the longer we live, the more we get depressed.

Did we forget what it means to live? If we cannot figure out what makes us happy in our lifes, if we cannot admit what it is that we need - even a hundred years of lifetime are not going to be enough. As a hundred years won´t make a blind man see and a hundred years won´t make us brighter. The moment we open our eyes, we will see that what we need is life and not a hundred years.

New York

Because even in the coldest winter, I feel warm.

Because even in the darkest night, there is light.

Because even when I feel lonely, I am not alone.

Because even when I have no chair, a stoop is my throne.

Because even when it´s noisy, I find some peace.

Because even when I feel suffocated, I still can breathe.

Because even on my lowest days, there is a smile.

Because even on a one way road, there is an aisle.

Because even when I hear nothing, I hear sound.

Because even when I fall, there is a ground.

Because even when I cannot stand, I lean against a wall.

Because even when I have nothing, I still have it all.

Flower Man

Walking down the road of life respecting everyone is sometimes appreciated but most of the time makes people comfortable enough not only to open up and let you into their world, but also to spill out more than one would wish for. One of the reasons can be that their world usually interests no one else but themselves.

Human beings are not half as well developed as their inventions. Maybe we should start spending more time on us before focussing on anything else. As a simple light bulb will never have the ability to annoy one as much as another personality could. On / Off doesn´t work for us.

Flower Man, a man I chose to respect, started the usual chatting and trying desperately to store his story in another humans closet. In mine. But then, very quickly, he tried to store most of his life which had the color of frustration. And this is a color I do not wear.

Therefore, dear Flower Man, this one is for you. So that you know that your story is stored, here on my blog. And everyone will know that you call yourself smart out loud and think that people who eat junk food are stupid. And I myself have no space for your frustration and will let you know again that the one who is smart, keeps it to himself and that organic food doesn´t grow at Wholefoods.

Dance Me

We might not speak the same language, we might not understand each other even if we do.

And when we try to speak, some might not listen.

But when we dance, we make some space for ourselves and share a monologue.

Join me or watch me - or leave.

Games

It is probably true that men love to chase women. And it is probably true that the more a woman seems uninterested, the more a man gets involved. The most effective way to seem uninterested is to be uninterested.

A woman who doesn´t care about a man, doesn´t try to be perfect. She is relaxed and comfortable with herself no matter what. She is just herself, which is attractive to most men. Why? Because it is less work for them. A man is smart enough to know that for one, it is hard day to day work trying to give you self-confidence that you are obviously lacking and two, that at the end of the day, self confidence needs to be built within oneself and cannot be injected by an outsider.

Once feelings start to take over the female personality, most of us care too much about everything we do and are. One would never choose pasta on the menu, as eating pasta without getting messy is as hard as avoiding under all circumstances to make a number 2 at his apartment. Fact is, none of it is avoidable. Sooner or later we would love to share spaghetti like in the Lady and the Tramp, and, yes, we would like to get rid of it if necessary.

All this is considered as part of the game, although games are supposed to be entertaining and I can´t see anything entertaining about a number 2 restriction. When did we stop having fun playing games?

Marilyn Monroe

Life

Life is easiness when your dreams are dreamed, yet time is not ripe.

- Wish.

Life is heaviness when you´re bringing your dreams to life,time is ripe.

- Hope.

Life is on its peak when your dreams become life.

- Fulfillment.

Notes from the Living Dead

Lin Yutang:

"I have done my best." That is about all the philosophy of living one needs.

Marie Curie:

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

Voltaire:

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

Albert Schweitzer:

I don´t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among

you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.

Emily Dickinson:

That it will never come again it what makes life so sweet .

Leo Tolstoy:

If you want to be happy - be.

Dorothy Thompson:

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky:

The secret of man´s being is not only to live but to have something to live for.

Japanese Proverb:

Fall down seven times, get up eight.

Viktor Frankl:

Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather

he must recognize that it is he who is asked.

Einar Benediktsson:

How destitute is a heart that misses nothing.

George Sand:

There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.

Edith Piaf:

Don´t care what people say. Don´t give a damn about their laws.

Paulo Coehlo:

Happiness: there are a series of rules, and if you fail to follow them,

Your conscious mind will refuse to accept the idea that you´re happy.

Audrey Hepburn:

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

George Apollinaire:

Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said.

They came. He pushed and they flew.

Notes from the Dead

Male,13:

I know what I am doing.

Female, 49:

And I shall be more silent and cold hearted than you are now.

Male, 74:

I married the wrong nag-nag-nag and I lost my life.

Female, 37:

To my father, Vincent M., the sum of one dollar.

Male, 52:

I feel I will not improve and can´t keep on causing you and the children so much misery.

Female, 31:

I must have been born to suffer.

Male, 40:

I am going to leave you forever because I am too sick to go on.

Female, 16:

I have wanted to go out with you and Dad but I was always to afraid to ask for I always felt the answer would be no.

Male, 45:

Cathy don´t go in the bedroom.

Female, 52:

I am so tired and lonely.

Male, 66 :

Dear World, I am leaving you because I am bored.

Female, 61:

One of the great ones is leaving this world when you want to and have nothing to live for.

Female, 59:

Try not to grieve.

Male, 53:

Ah! mon amie, je m´en vais enfin de ce monde, où il faut que le coeur se brise ou se bronze.

Female, 59:

And I shan´t recover this time. I begin to hear voices .

Male, 17:

Despair and depression, together they grow. Hope shall meet hopeless when there´s nowhere to go.

Wristcutter - A Love Story 2006

Running

There was a time where people were running away when they felt fear in a possible life threatening situation. Scientists call it instinct. In our world today life threatening situations almost extinguished. But humans wouldn´t be humans if they wouldn´t find a replacement to re-excite life and come up with new so called life threatening situations to run away from... It wouldn´t be fair to our ancestors to call it the same though. I am wondering what a scientist would call it...People truly run, sometimes even sprint, from a touch, from the nearness of another one, and from themselves. But who would admit it?

Fear used to be initiated by an external event and today more than ever we are carrying it deep inside of us.

Men run away and hide when they have issues with women or with themselves. Whatever their issues are made of, we as women will never know. As a woman, you can do whatever you want to seek after a man. But well trained they are and masters of the game. No calls, no responses, no text, no email. Disappear into thin air. It really takes a master to be able to vanish in times where you have endless possibilities to communicate. This is not the old fashioned hide and seek game, but the modern egoistic version called hide and nothing.

Ladies: let them be. If there is a will, there is a way. If a man decides to disappear, he will. And if he decides to be visible and real, he will. Until then we can only hope that one day we will bump into a real man who is able to see us. Because if he is able to see us, he will love us, and if he truly does, he would want us to see him too and love him too. A man who chooses romance over nonsense. Romance at least takes you somewhere, while nonsense makes you go in circles.

The world turned upside down: in moments of endless fear we used to run towards those we loved to either feel safe in their presence or to hold hands and run away together. Today we run away from those we love - and we run alone.

Iran

The tension between more than 70% of the Iranians who are under 30 years old and the so called "islamic" regime and its fanatic representatives raised over the past 30 years steadily but certainly. Those young people fought in loud silence for their rights. One could feel this tension and all I was waiting for was the last straw...No one expected this moment now. No one was prepared.

In several cities of Iran, the main streets are painted red with the blood of those innocents who were suffering since they were born - free spirits and their bodies the prisoners of an inhuman system.

Everyday students are beaten like dogs, shot and many died on the streets without any chance of surviving. Bodies disappear from the hospitals without even being identified by the staff. Parents are waiting at home, not knowing that they can wait forever. Cars are burning, people are crying, yelling, praying...And outside of Iran people are marching, asking for peace and for justice.

This regime is the one that caused the depression of more than 3 generations. Grandparents suffered, seeing their country being turned upside down to the worst. Parents were forced to leave a country that they loved. And thousands of children of the exile Iranians, the 3rd generation, do not know where they belong to anymore or where home is. They are foreigners in Iran and foreigners everywhere else leading to the confusion and partly loss of identity of a great culture. Those who didn´t left are bleeding today. Those who are outside are bleeding with them.

International phone calls made from Iran are not going through. Social networks on the internet were shut down several times. Even the international correspondants are repressed.

All I know is that this government won´t stop shooting. Stopping it, would mean to admit. Admitting would mean change. Change would mean a loss of power.

The people won´t stop marching and protesting, as with every single body that lost its life through the bloody hands of the government, peoples 30 year old anger turns to rage and their rage will lead to change.

Those young brave people, who are not afraid of loosing their lifes anymore, are the heroes of our generation and deserve international help and support.

Art

Art is a strong magnet with infinite faces - always new and unpredictable. An Artist is a creator on his own, making use of his ability to bring his thoughts to a thick essence of life that is universal - a channel inviting to a new path. And although Art can be born in any form, we can call it by only one name. Just like the word Love - there are no synonyms for Art. One word that embraces it all. One word that says it all.

Children of Art are desirable magnets: admired, envied, observed - a source of energy, brave sensibility and a source of world understanding in a wordless language that will remain for many unseen, ignored, invisible or avoided.

Artists shine by creating their own sun, regardless what the sun might mean to most of us. And like vampires who crave blood, others will run towards them, tanning in an Artist sun, not realizing that they are standing in the shade...

Rain

Sometimes when I walk in the heavy rain,
The only thing I can hold on to is my umbrella.

Leuchtturm 2

Leuchtturm

Fuer Einen

Die Andern sind das weite Meer.
Du aber bist der Hafen.
So glaube mir: Kannst ruhig schlafen,
Ich steure immer wieder her.

Denn all die Stuerme, die mich trafen,
Sie liessen meine Segel leer.
Die Andern sind das bunte Meer,
Du aber bist der Hafen.

Du bist der Leuchtturm. Letztes Ziel.
Kannst Liebster, ruhig schlafen.
Die Andern...das ist Wellenspiel,

Du aber bist der Hafen.


by Mascha Kaleko (1907-1975)

Mute

He was standing and holding her. Tight enough to give her the support she needed, loose enough to give her space to expand her grief to its fully extend and to let it go. She was wearing the body of a mature woman but its action was the one of a child; leaning on him, slightly bent towards him - almost curled under the heavy pain. Her eyes were closed tight, her eyebrows frowned, her mouth wide open. No tears were wetting her cheeks, no sound leaving her open mouth - pure, clean, simple silence was all there was.

And I looked at him - a wise serenity was lying on his face, like a soft curtain hanging perfectly down a window. He knew all too well that holding her was all he could do.

And when I looked at her again, her face reminded me that there is a pain that we can set free, that we can cry out into the world. And that there is an overwhelming pain that fills us entirely, that leaves no air to breathe. A vacuum created by pain that leaves us - mute.

Gypsy

I am a gypsy, a wanderer, a traveller, a nomad.

My wish was to be rooted in life - my life is about rooting out.

I am an upside down tree, my roots in the sky, my crown bedded in the earth.

What makes me human is my stem.

I am a gypsy, a wanderer, a traveller, a nomad.

I am the daughter of a father who was the same.

I am the daughter of a mother who was not.

What I wish for seems unreachable, what I am is what I am.

Life is moving - and I swim.

Life is changing - and I swim.

Life gives and takes - and I still swim.

I do not drown -

Cause I am

A gypsy, a wanderer, a traveller, a nomad.

Thank you Carmen and Thank you Luka.

Pink Tulips

Safar

Safar - Travel

by

Moein

Safar kardam ke az eshghed jodah sham

I travelled to apart from your love

Delam mikhast dige ashegh nabasham

My heart wanted me to not be in love anymore

Vali eshghet too ghalbam munde ey vay

But your love is still residing in my heart

Dele divunamo soozoonde ey vay

It burned my foolish heart

Dele divunamo soozoonde ey vay

It burned my foolish heart

Hanuzam ashegham

And I am still in love

Hanuzam ashegham

And I am still in love

Donya ye dardam

I am in the world of pain

Messe parvaneha doret migardam

Like butterflies I circle around you

Messe parvaneha doret migardam

Like butterflies I circle around you

Safar kardam ke az yadam beri didam nemishe

I travelled so that you leave my memory I realized it´s not working

Akhe eshghe ye ashegh ba nadidan kam nemishe

Because the love of a lover doesn´t get less by not seeing each other

Ghame dur az to mundan ye bi bal o param kard

Grief from being far away from you made me without wings and feathers

Naraft az yade man eshgh safar ashegtaram kard

Love didn´t leave my memory Travel made me more in love

Hannooz pishmargetam man bemiram ta namiri

I am still dying before you I shall die so that you don´t

Khosham ba khateratam ino az man nagiri

I am blissful with my memories Don´t take them away from me

Delam az abr o barun bejoz esme to nashnid

My heart , from clouds and rain , beside your name didn´t hear a thing

Too mahtabe shabuneh faghat tsheshmam to ra did

In the moonlight of the night my eyes only saw you

Nasho ba man gharibe messe namehrabunha

Don´t become a stranger with me like the unkind

Bala gardune tshashmat zamin o asemuna

Above heaven your eyes the earth and the skies

Mikham bargardam amma mitarsam

I want to come back but I am afraid

Mitarsam begi harfi nadari

I am afraid that you will say you have no words for me

Begi eshghi namunde

You will say there is no love left

Mitarsam beri tanham bezari

I am afraid that you might go and leave me alone

Hannooz pishmargetam man bemiram ta namiri

I am still dying before you I shall die so that you don´t

Khosham ba khateratam ino az man nagiri

I am blissful with my memories Don´t take them away from me

To ra didam tu barun dele darya to budi

I saw you in the rain You were the heart of the sea

To moje sabze sabzeh tane sahrah to budi

You were the dark green wave You were the body of the desert

Mage mishe nadidet too mahtabe shabuneh?

Is it possible he didn´t see you in the moonlight of the night?

Mage mishe nakhundet too shehre asheghune?

Is it possible he didn´t sing you the song of the lovers?

Mikham bargardam amma mitarsam

I want to come back but I am afraid

Mitarsam begi harfi nadari

I am afraid that you will say you have no words for me

Begi eshghi namunde

You will say there is no love left

Mitarsam beri tanham bezari

I am afraid you might go and leave me alone

Hannooz pishmargetam man bemiram ta namiri

I am still dying before you I shall die so that you don´t

Khosham ba khateratam ino az man nagiri

I am blissful with my memories Don´t take them away from me

Hannooz pishmargetam man bemiram ta namiri

I am still dying before you I shall die so that you don´t

Khosham ba khateratam ino az man nagiri

I am blissful with my memories Don´t take them away from me

Peanut Butter

Peanut Butter used to be popular in the United States until January 2009 and rose to super stardom since then...Elected "Celebrity of the Year 2009" by my humble self, right after our new president Obama.

And while, from my point of view, this country is blessed with a gorgeous looking man in the white house, Peanut Butter never even made it close to my personal top 10 - Yes, i know and we all know that "the intrinsic values"... et cetera , et cetera. But whoever renounces the blank truth and reality that the first impression is not a sharp look straight into ones personality and soul, but rather a simple look at someones phyiscal appearance, is in denial - and Peanut Butter lacks the looks. And maybe, maybe we finally found out why PB looks the way it looks....

It is, in spite of its appearance, certainly one of Americans favorite foods: spread on bread, found in muffins and waffles, in oatmeal and pasta, soup and beef, ricecrackers and candy bars, cookies and even salad. Peanut Butter was part of the American Dream.

Salmonella and Peanut Butter not only had nothing in common, but put together are a so called "unhappy marriage". And there is a specific reason why. Food and shit just don´t go together - never.

Peanut Butter should contain by law a minimum of 90% peanuts, the remaining 10% usually consisting of natural sweeteners, a little bit of salt and some stabilizer to keep it fresh.

While Salmonella is a living bacteria housing in the intestinal tracts of infected animals or humans, passing from the feces to one another, causing disgust and diarrhea.

One of the nations largest proudct recalls are happening right now. No one dares to say it out loud, but : Americans were eating shit. And I think it would be only fair to know: Who shit in the Peanut Butter?

Pierre & Gilles

Home

I hold to no Religion or Creed,

Am neither Eastern nor Western,

Muslim or Infidel,

Zoroastrian, Christian, Jew or Gentile.

I come from neither Land nor Sea,

Am not related to those Above or Below,

Was not born Nearby or Far Away,

Do not live either in Paradise or on this Earth,

Claim descent not from Adam and Eve or the Angels above.

I transcend Body and Soul.

My home is beyond Place and Name.

It is with the Beloved, in a Space beyond Space.

I embrace All and am part of All.

By Jelaluddin Rumi

Absence

It is surprising that although I know that life can make quick, fast turns and make people disappear faster than it makes them appear - it still hits me hard when one is taken away.

Erased all of a sudden, abducted, cut out and all I can see are fading footprints in the snow. And I sit and watch the fooprints, trying to trace the person as good as I can, sketch every valley and canyon, every mountain in his face,trying to rebuild this person again using the pictures in my mind, trying to put weight on an invisible to make him heavy again - to make him visible the fading one so that he can keep on making footprints....at least for a while.

And he will walk again, not far, maybe a step or two until he vanishes again and I will start all over, retracing, resketching...And I´ll make him stay as long as I can until the pictures in my mind, one by one, become indistinct, before they too get erased.

One picture will stay with me and not fade. Too light to make you stay again but heavy enough to leave your footprint in my life.

Rest in peace Jerome.

Present Moment

30 600 000 results on google about the present moment - most of them preaching the same: its importance. Mine not included.

One should not give answers upfront, as they are not anwers. Each answer is being born by a specific, unique question asked by a single human being. Within the process that one mind undergoes in order to get his answer lies already his answer. At the end the word might be the same - but the road that leads to it is a different one.

To enjoy the present moment means to accept that the present will be past. It means that we have to accept that every moment is, just like us, alive and therefore subject to one of the certain rules of nature: Birth and Death.

Only by one present moment passing away, we make space for a new one.

Being in the present moment is choosing to sit in the most beautiful room of an apartment. The one room that has it all. Large windows, the best light and the perfect temperature...It is the one room that doesn´t have one great corner, but 4 great corners. It is the room where everything I love has space. The fireplace next to the bathtub , surrounded by books, the smell of flowers, the warmth of the sunlight.....

It is a choice we make. It is the choice of entering this room and knowing that you will have to leave, move into another room that is going to be totally different and unknown...

It is the choice of grabbing the hand of another, knowing that we can´t hold it forever, and letting it go...